I'll look just like this, minus the big hair, the tatas, the tan, and the body.

I'm so drained. The managers at my company have stolen my essence and converted it into cold, hard cash.

That Condoleeza video wasn't me, for those who haven't already harassed me about doing a racist voiceover, but Betty Butterfield. The episode about the Church of Latter Day Saints is my favorite, I think...

I got home from work and realized I had very little food construction material. I felt adventurous, so I whipped up a batch of weird stir fried soba noodles. Chile sesame oil, tahini, some rice wine vinegar, some fish sauce... it was actually... surprisingly tasty. Awww, damnit. I was just gonna say that I wish I'd had some chicken to throw in there too, but I had tofu in the fridge I could've used.

I applied for my passport a few days ago. I think the clerk at the courthouse was one of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. He also had one cloudy eye, and I spent the whole time talking to the cloudy one and then switching back and forth nervously. He must be used to that sort of thing, right? While I was waiting, I noticed the fine terrazzo flooring. That, of course, made me think of Jonny's house. Fortunately, his terrazzo didn't come in Ugly Arizona Courthouse colors.

I went shopping with the Girl and another friend yesterday for Halloween garb. We found a big nasty black wig at Target, and a creepy purple stretchy sleeveless number. Nylon bandages for the Fanta shoes. I threw the wig on with the shirt and struck a pose or two. And confirmed that I am the homeliest Fanta Girl ever. I can almost picture it now... waking up hung over, in a strange bed, my wig on sideways and purple glitter makeup smeared all over my face.