Today was the first day of the end of summer for me. Usually this day doesn't come until October, and I can't remember the last time it actually arrived before the equinox; maybe all these years in Arizona have finally gotten to me. I mean, it still hit 96° today in Phoenix. But in the morning on my drive in, the air had that crisp, cool look of fall to it. Still ridiculously bright, of course, but a different kind of bright that doesn't look like it'll sear you if you step into it. And so the windows will be open tonight for the first time of the season, since it's so nice outside... and I can start to tear my way out of the summer cocoon and return to whatever degree of sanity I manage when it's not so hot out.

I'll look like this by Christmas! Thanks, Santa Claus, Dexatrim™ and cheap Canadian Internet 'roids!

I finally went and checked out a gym that's covered by my membership but is slightly further away from my house, and I completely love the place. It's old and a little run down, but their treadmills are newer and there's about 3x as much space so it feels less cramped. I hadn't realized how much my dislike of the one on Camelback was affecting my desire to go work out... since finding this new one, I've made it over almost every day. I feel no pressure to hurry up on any of the equipment, nobody stands around watching me while they wait for a machine, and I feel completely anonymous- I've yet to spot a single face I recognized.

This time feels different than before. I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I'm enjoying it in a way I don't remember enjoying it before. Not only have I broadened my weight training back out to include my entire body instead of just my upper body, I'm having to pace myself so I don't repeat muscle groups too frequently. I'm a little disappointed when I make one last round of the room and can't find anything else to use. Peripherally, I'm a little concerned that this may just be a method of coping with stress or boredom; if that's the case, eventually one or both will resolve themselves and my motivation will evaporate. But maybe I can actually hold on long enough to see some reshaping take place... and so I'm pushing myself as hard as I safely can, in hopes that I'll see something good enough to keep me going.

But talking about the gym is boring and old and is just more evidence of failure if/when I fall off the horse again, so I'll stop now.