Just spent a couple of really nice hours on the beach, soaking up the sun, reading and basking in the ocean.

I’m reminded of the origins of my domain name that’s been around for eons. It hosted this blog once before in the long ago. I chose the name based on the book Aristoi which I read as a pretty young person.. maybe 15, 16 years old? I remember moving to Phoenix in 1997 and being so enamored with the central library, I’d take my sisters to play and explore books on their own while I scoured the sci-fi section for interesting new ideas.

It’s strange to trace back to roots and remember how many of those concepts really resonated with me and sunk in and shaped me. This one in particular is, so far, shockingly queer, and impressively, proudly humanistic despite being set in a far far fantastical future. The whole concept of deliberately enticing multiple sub-personalities to be somewhat self sufficient and relying on them to bring their own special perspectives and skills to an integrated existence. And the simple idea that these personalities don’t necessarily have to match in terms of attraction, interest, intellect, wisdom, or even gender.

I’ve sought a stronger self since then. I still seek integration in a sense, but I long ago abandoned the thought of “excising” these elements as demons. Some of my biggest gains in terms of trauma recovery and finding peace has been turning self-hatred for my parts into self-love and grace. I haven’t thought for a long time about the idea of engaging with them in an outright way to leverage them consciously.. it’s something I’m going to be doing some thinking about again, I think.